The Honorable Weirdo from Virginia owes Monterey an apology

Confusing Pacific Grove's Wiccans with Monterey's Hellhounds is a grievous mistake

Hung Cao owes the good people of Monterey an apology.

Cao might be just another MAGA weirdo from Virginia, but a nitwit of his stature should at least get his geography and his demographics correct before he slanders the heathen population of Monterey.

During a video interview he conducted last year with another howling loon, Cao describes how Monterey has become a vile nest of Wiccan vipers because Monterey blasphemed Jesus by removing His name from Lovers Point.

Normal people who aren’t weirdos would dismiss this sort of remark as simply the frantic raving of an imbecile. But of course Cao has emerged as a MAGA darling, and was invited to spew his febrile rants to an arena filled with like-minded weirdos at the 2024 Republican National Convention. And he’s the MAGA candidate who is trying to unseat the noted occultist senator from Virginia, Tim Kaine.

Worse yet, Cao’s lunatic fulmination about Monterey was featured this past Sunday on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, HBO’s official promoter of all things demonic. During a segment about the kooks and weirdos who are running for the U.S. Senate during the upcoming election season, Oliver broadcast a clip from an interview that Cao conducted with fellow weirdo and Disney hater, Sean Feucht.

“The original name was Lovers of Christ Point,” Cao said with the earnest authority of a delusional dipshit who is certain he knows what he’s talking about. “But now they’ve taken out the Christ, and, really, Monterey is a very dark place now. There’s a lot of witchcraft and the Wiccan community has really taken over.”

There’s a lot to unpack here, but the proud Hellhounds of Monterey first want to clear up the obvious confusions that Cao’s comments have generated. The most obvious, of course, is that Monterey long ago eschewed witchcraft and has now invested its spiritual collateral into Demonic Rotarianism. 

When asked for comment, Monterey Mayor Tyller Williamson simply dismissed Cao’s comments as “hilarious.” Williamson said he hasn’t really noticed a lot of witchcraft around town lately, but promised to tell me when he does. (Williamson is a practicing Presbyterian, which these days is tantamount to a poor-man’s form of wiccanism, at least to bully evangelicals and kookmeisters like Cao.)

Also, for what it’s worth, Lovers Point isn’t even located in Monterey. It’s in Pacific Grove, which ironically happens to be the only city on the Monterey Peninsula that eagerly embraces Cao-ist principles.

Also, the damn place was never called “Lovers of Christ Point.” It was originally never called Lovers of Jesus Point. Neither Christ nor Jesus, but still Cao somehow spewed came “Lovers of Christ” from his piehole. Author’s note: See discussion about the naming of Lovers Point in comments.

So on behalf of the hellhounds of Monterey and our Demonic Rotarians and Presbyterians, I hereby demand an apology from Mr. Cao. Also, I invite Cao to visit Pacific Grove someday; the weirdos there will likely hand him the key to the city.

Followup: The Myth of Jesus at The Point; Also, Another Friendly Reminder that Hung Cao is a damn weirdo

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